Bad judging

This weekend I met a woman at a party. She is married to a black man. When he introduced me, I had a small moment of judging; a fleeting thought of "Oh, another black guy married to a white woman."
She was cool and so we talked for a while. Some how the fact that I'm in a sorority that is made up predominantly of African American women came up. She asked me which one, I told her (Oo-oop!) and she told me that she is a member of what is sometimes described as a rival sorority. 
I was almost stunned. It's good that people can't see what happens inside out heads. It would have looked like a tornado. Even I, a frequently mistaken for "other" mixed girl, hadn't realized this woman was black. 
I felt myself completely rearranging the story I had created for her, her husband and what we could talk about -- I felt I could be more open, in some ways.
But it was also a moment of real self awareness. I realized how many boxes I had put her in based on her looks and being married to a black man. They weren't all bad or good, just judgements. And definitely unnecessary. It's easy to wish other people wouldn't make assumptions about me. The reality is, I need to take my own advice!

1 comment:

  1. Just wanted to say thanks for your blog. You are really good at expressing yourself and I appreciate your perspective. I actually found your blog through your running blog. But I have really enjoyed this one.

    My daughter is of a different racial background than I am, but we share a lot of similar facial features. I adopted my daughter - but most people don't assume that right off. I have been looking for ways, any way, to be more sensitive to the way my daughter perceives the world and the way others might perceive her.

    I think I have gained some insight by reading about your perspective.

    Thank you so much for sharing it! ooo...and running tips too. :)