What Not to Say to Biracial Person

I'm not gonna get preachy, but there are a few things one should think twice about before saying them to a mixed a person:
"Mixed babies are so cute." We're not pandas and therefore we're not uniformly adorable. I mean, have you seen Malcolm Gladwell's hair?! (Nothing against MG; his brain makes up for the bad 'fro)
"My cousin married a (insert minority here) and their kids are mixed." This is second only to "I love gay people...my best friend is gay" when it comes to statements that don't prove you're open minded.
"Which parent is which?" Why is this interesting? And what will the children of my friends Natalie and Greg say to this question considering both Natalie and Greg are hapa?
"You aren't really (insert minority here)." Really? What am I? I'd love for you to tell me more about myself.
"People don't know you're (insert minority here)." Yes, they do. How do I know they don't think I'm white? Because you JUST asked me, "What are you?"

You get the idea. If you would be surprised if I said it to you, about you, please don't say it to me (even if you mean it in the nicest way. 

Mixed in the Movies

The movie "Bridesmaids" was ok but its handling of Maya Rudolph's mixed character was perfect.

In the movie, they show both her parents - one is black and one is white. No one says anything. At no point in the movie does she say to another character, "Both your parents are white, you wouldn't know how it is." Nor does anyone say to her, "We know it was hard for you, growing up biracial." It's simply never mentioned. Just like regular people, whose parents are the same color, her parents racial combo is no biggie.

I'm not saying I don't want the pleasure and pain of being mixed to be ignored - that would make this blog rather hypocritical - I'm just saying it doesn't need to be talked every single time there's an opportunity. True progress is when we can just let it be.

Being Mixed in California Has Made Me Soft

Since moving to California in the fall, no one has asked me what my background/heritage/ethnicity/parental birthplace is. It's been nice and I didn't miss it. Yesterday, my "It's been 160 days since our last questioning" sign was erased and put back to zero.
I was with my boyfriend, his friend and the friend's fiancee. We were having a great day. All of us are people of color and I wasn't thinking anything about it - it's nice to just be comfortable with the people around you. Out of the blue, the fiancee asks me about my background. It felt like someone slammed on the brakes of my good time. Suddenly, I was aware of the fact that I'm obviously different. I went from assuming I was part of the group to feeling like an outsider. And, because it's been so long since somebody asked or I thought about being mixed, I sort of stumbled over my answer. No snappy "What do you think I am?" Just, "Ah, well, um, huh, yeah, that came out of nowhere, uh, yeah."
It turns out she is mixed also - Asian and White. I assumed she was simply Asian, but maybe she is often asked about her heritage and didn't think I would find it disconcerting when she asked.
The upside is that I knew there wasn't anything malicious behind it and so I recovered pretty well. I still like her as much as I like anyone after one meeting (I'm slow to call someone a friend) and look forward to us reveling in the comfort of being four people of color on the town sometime soon.